1. Mixed Relationships
In our ‘connected world’ where many of us feel blessed that we get to mingle and make friends
with people from different countries, cultures and religions for some of us this can also lead to
long term and fulfilling relationships.
For those who make that leap into a mixed relationship it is often very difficult to understand the
financial and legal aspects of the arrangement. As the relationship develops over the long term
and children become involved and maybe assets like property it is important to be able to
understand the best way to plan your arrangements based on your situation.
so, how can a financial coach help?
It is important to be aware of the implications of your relationship from a financial and legal
perspective. For those who also come from different religious backgrounds being aware of the
implications and discussing plans for the future to respect both parties is important.
As a couple it is also important to share your dreams and goals for the future for both
yourselves and your children. This could mean talking about future plans as to where to live and
possibly educate and bring up children and how to afford this.
It may also involve things like purchasing a home for the future and which country to do this and
the implications from a financial as well as personal perspective.
Mixed relationships will create certain obstacles and opportunities and without the ability to
discuss this with a coach who has knowledge and understands the situation clients may not
even be aware of these issues. Obstacles could be custody of children based on the religious
background of one of the parties in the relationship or tax issues on death. There will also likely
be financial opportunities which a financial coach can highlight for you.
These conversations are rarely easy between couples. Having a coach who can act as an
intermediary and listen to both parties with a deep knowledge and understanding of the situation
will give the clients confidence to take action and plan a way forward. Once both parties are
clear on the situation the plan is highly likely to be implemented and kept up as both parties are
clear where they are going and why.
Once both parties are clear on the actions the coach can then help set up and monitor if
required the plans to ensure commitment. As life changes the coach can also be used again if
plans need to be changed to make sure the ultimate goals of the clients are achieved.
All relationships are special and will be different and having a coach who understands this and
can listen to both parties will ensure goals are achieved and the clients can celebrate success.
Understanding from both parties with regard to financial plans and the legal issues about their
relationship and how these have been addressed will reduce significant stress and tension in
any relationship making it more likely to succeed.
this is what would be discussed during coaching sessions:
Passport issues for children, dividing assets/investments for optimum benefit, where to
purchase property, potential retirement location, education for children, tax, making a Will and
does this relate to a situation you're in?
2. Single Parent (Around 54 yrs)
Lived and worked in the Middle East for 22 years now looking to return to the
UK with her 16 year old son.
Currently runs own business but struggling to make ends meet and pay rent and other bills as
the cost of living increases. The business is seasonal as clients are mostly wealthy individuals
who tend to leave the country in the hot summers which puts further stress on finances.
Client currently has little liquid cash and does not own any property. Due to her length of stay in
the Middle East has lost touch to a certain degree with life back in her home country and unsure
how to make her move happen.
During the coaching sessions the coachee confirmed her desire to move based on her
worsening financial situation in the Middle East. Her priority was also to make sure her son was
settled for the next few years so he could do his further studies.
In the session the coachee also discussed opportunities for her to work when she returned and
the fact that over the long term both her and her son would be better off by moving.
Once the idea to move was reinforced in the mind of the coachee, the coaching sessions then
progressed to helping the coachee achieve her goal. Having spent 22 years in the Middle East it
was important to motivate the coachee as to why the move was in the best interests of both of
them and how they would benefit in the long term.
The main barriers and risks involved with the move were financial and also the lack of support in
the UK to help with the move. The coaching sessions then discussed the obstacles to the move
and how the coachee would overcome these issues.
Once a plan was established the coaching sessions focused on carrying out the planned move
and the various tasks that needed to be done and by when to make sure the move happened.
The move required long term planning so as to achieve a smooth exit from the Middle East and
a settled future in the UK. Like with all plans from time to time there was a need to adapt as
things changed; the coaching sessions enabled the coachee to keep focused on the goals even
when barriers were thrown up.
Any move will involve significant soul searching and mixed emotions for various reasons. The
ability to be able to discuss these feelings with someone who understands the issues and can
listen when you feel alone can be very powerful.
Not only can an expat financial coach help you plan any move but coaching sessions can also
save you money and time by making sure your finances are in good shape before you move
and when you arrive in your new country.